My Blessed hat!

So I finally got my  “Blessed” hat in the mail on Wednesday night. I made Richard take a picture, eventhough I was exhausted. ( The scar on my chest is from the port, that is how they administer the chemo). Chemo #3 will be next Wednesday, October 5th. I can’t wait to be done with this cycle. Two more to go!

When I put on my hat Richard asked me “do you really feel that you’re blessed?” and my reply was simple “Yes! I am blessed.” I don’t know any other way to feel. I am blessed for many reasons.  I know my situation could be worse. I know there are people out there suffering more then me. So far I have been able to tolerate the Chemo. I am still going to work everyday. I am tired and i don’t really feel like myself, but I still go to work. I am still a mom to my boys. I still make them breakfast, pack their lunch, do homework, read a book and drop them off at school. I am grateful for those good days.

I do have those off days because I wake up every morning not recognizing myself in the mirror. I am almost completely bald. Its crazy! But I always have to look on the bright side. In this case, the bright side is that I still have eyebrows and I look good in a hat! LOL I am also rocking my turbans and head wraps like a DIVA. Eventhough I wonder what people think when they see me? I wonder if they know I have cancer? I am curious about that.

I am grateful that my boys are being so brave and seem unphased by my bald head. I feel blessed for that. I am blessed to have so many amazing people in my corner, My Prayer Warriors, My Green Ninjas. All of you!! I have cried happy tears and my heart is full.

Words can’t express how grateful I am for all the love and support I have received this week. I don’t even know if a mere “Thank You” is enough to say to all of my family and friends that have been supporting me via my blog, Facebook, Instagram, etc. The cards, the food, the words of encouragement.

I am blessed for my BBBS family. I love that my coworkers are supporting me as I participate in the “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk” on October 29. They created a team  called “Myra’s Minions” and will be walking with me.

I also love how people can laugh with me. I don’t want to be sad all the time. Laughter is a great thing. I love seeing people use profanity with me. Seeing people drop the “F” bomb on Facebook. I love it!! Life is too short, we have to laugh at the silly stuff.

I know i still have a long road ahead, but I try to maintain my faith and my sanity. I am not angry with God and I don’t allow myself to get angry. I have to count my blessing everyday. With all the craziness going on in this world, I have to be thankful for my life. Someone sent me a quote that said something like ” you get back what you put out into the world”. I am thankful that I have spent my life trying to help people. I love helping people. I guess its my turn to sit back and accept the help. I am trying not to be be too proud.

I had a friend tell me this week that he was concerned about something and he went to get checked out. He thanked me for giving him the courage to go the doctors. That alone was HUGE for me! People, if you are concerned about something, please go to the doctors! Please don’t wait. My instincts told me something was wrong, but the doctor didn’t seem concerned. I breastfeed both of my boys and never thought I could get breast cancer. I am glad Richard and I were proactive and I got myself checked out.

Honestly, I wish i had something more profound to say. I am sure for some people it might be hard to understand, but i am just grateful for every day i have with my family. Everyone says this experience changes you. I am sure it does and it will. I know everything happens for a reason. I don’t question why this happened to me. I just want to fix it, learn my lesson and move on.