My god, I am a mess today!! Today, Richard and I had to make the hardest decision since we met 11 years ago, and we are left broken-hearted. Today, we had to put our sweet dog Camila to sleep. I have been crying all day, dreading what was to come. Richard and I had talked about it last night and had made the decision.
I went to work today and then had radiation therapy. I met Richard so that we could take Camila to the Vet. With tears in our eyes we walked into the Vet’s office. Richard said as soon as the Vet saw Camila his eyes got big. He was in awe at how big the tumor had gotten. He reassured us that we were making the right decision. This all happened so quickly. She was just diagnosed in January. In 4 months that tumor grew and turned her into a different animal. She went from a lively and happy dog, to a dog that slept all day. She went from a healthy and strong dog to an almost deformed creature. The tumor made it impossible for her to use her back leg. She was deteriorating everyday. She was barely eating and losing weight. She had no energy. Everyday it was getting hard for her to sit and to poop. She was a strong dog and didn’t seem to be in any pain, but she was uncomfortable. That was not the life we wanted for her. That was no quality of life for our baby girl. Richard and I were so stressed out watching her everyday. We didn’t know if we were going to come home to find her dead.
Richard and I adopted Camila from the Humane Society 7 years ago. She was my anniversary present. I had finally convinced Richard that we “needed” a dog. I thought it would be good practice for us, before we became parents. We were not expecting to walk into that shelter to adopt a Pitbull. We knew the stigma associated with the breed. But she picked us! She was an amazing dog. Everyone that met her loved her. She proved to everyone she met that Pitbulls are smart dogs, that could be easily trained to be amazing family dogs. We keep reminding ourselves that we gave her a great life. She was a “diva” Pitbull. She will be missed.
After everything, we had to put ourselves back together to tell the boys. We told Sebastian first. We told him that Camila was old and went to doggy heaven. I swear, if anyone tells my son that Camila was sick, I will beat them with a baseball bat. He is already dealing with his mother being sick. He doesn’t need that stress. So we convinced our almost 6-year-old that Camila was old. We explained to him that animals live for different amounts of time. Like a butterfly that only lives 7 days. We told him its okay to cry and that she will be missed. I told him that we can have a ceremony in the backyard. We can bury her favorite toy or collar, and that we can plant a tree or place a stone there to always remember her. His birthday is this weekend and I am hoping that we can keep him distracted. Leo is too small to understand, but I am sure he will notice that the house is different. It’s so quiet now. Camila used to sleep in our room and now that corner is not the same. A part of our family is gone and it’s painful. I don’t care if you are not a dog person, if you have any love in your heart you will understand how we feel.
I am so angry. I am seriously pissed off. I feel helpless. Cancer tried to take my life and it took my dog’s instead. This is bullshit. FUCK YOU CANCER!!