Crashing

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So its been an interesting few days. Wednesday i was nauseous from the Chemo, but I felt great Thursday. I even went to work.  Friday was an okay day. But Saturday and Sunday were horrible. I haven’t had any of the nausea, but the headaches, muscle aches and fatigue were in full force. I was lucky that my parents took the boys for the weekend so that i could rest. Richard stayed with me and was great. Making sure i ate and rested. Food has already started to taste weird, which breaks my heart. I LOVE FOOD!!!  White rice has never tasted so good! I miss coffee! I was told i can’t drink it because it will dehydrate me. Crap! Detox is going to hurt! Lucky for me i do enjoy a nice cup of tea.

Some of our best friends stopped by on Sunday. It was great to see them. It had been a while and it was nice to have a little normalcy in my day. I wish i would have had more energy to entertain. They were very understanding. As soon as  they left i fell asleep.

I have joined a survivors group on Facebook and the ladies have been extremely supportive. I asked the ladies if they enjoyed company when they didn’t feel well. The majority of them said no. They rather  be alone. That got me worried. I am such a social person. I love people. I would hate to isolate myself. I know there will be days when i don’t want to deal with the world and that is normal. But i don’t want to lose who i am. I guess i just have to be selective. Those of you that want to visit, have to understand that i will just have to walk away to take a nap! LOL

I am a little scared that depression might be kicking in. I already started getting hot flashes. WTF!! I am really not trying to get down on myself. I am trying to stay positive, but I got angry yesterday. I got angry that this is happening to me. I got angry because my 2 year old looked at the scare of my chest from the port, “my booboo” as he calls it and said “the doctor is going to fix you”… and i had to say yes baby, the doctor is going to fix me! And my 5 year old asked me yesterday why did i get sick and who made me sick!  How do you answer that? All i could do is smile and tell him that things just happen sometimes but mommy is going to be okay.

2 thoughts on “Crashing”

  1. Wow Myra, It’s 10:30 PM on Wednesday October 26. I have beeno reading your blog and I couldn’t put it down. In the last hour I have cried, laughter, prayed and even got mad because 2 people called me and had me stop from reading your blog. Even though I haven’t spoken to you in such a long time I miss you. Ever since you posted you have cancer I have prayed for you and your family. I know you are going to kick cancer’s ass. Your personality has inspired me. I am so happy that you are such a strong person. I am sorry I hadn’t written to you but I didnt know what to say, so what I did was talk to God and to give me the courage to write this to you. I wish I could do more for you but please don’t hesitate to ask anything I can do for you I will try my best to do. I love you and please keep fighting because I want to see you on our next reunion. Pleasent keep us posted with your blog.

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    1. My dearest friend Oscar, Thank you for your words. You also made me cry. Thank you for the prayers and for thinking of me. I am glad you reached out. I know its weird for a lot of people. They don’t know what to say, but I love that you asked God for guidance. I love seeing the pictures of your beautiful family. I am SO PROUD of you mi amiga. I also miss you and our talks when we used to walk home together. I hope you have a great time at the reunion. I hope I can Facetime with you guys just to say “Hi”.

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