So its been an interesting few days. Wednesday i was nauseous from the Chemo, but I felt great Thursday. I even went to work. Friday was an okay day. But Saturday and Sunday were horrible. I haven’t had any of the nausea, but the headaches, muscle aches and fatigue were in full force. I was lucky that my parents took the boys for the weekend so that i could rest. Richard stayed with me and was great. Making sure i ate and rested. Food has already started to taste weird, which breaks my heart. I LOVE FOOD!!! White rice has never tasted so good! I miss coffee! I was told i can’t drink it because it will dehydrate me. Crap! Detox is going to hurt! Lucky for me i do enjoy a nice cup of tea.
Some of our best friends stopped by on Sunday. It was great to see them. It had been a while and it was nice to have a little normalcy in my day. I wish i would have had more energy to entertain. They were very understanding. As soon as they left i fell asleep.
I have joined a survivors group on Facebook and the ladies have been extremely supportive. I asked the ladies if they enjoyed company when they didn’t feel well. The majority of them said no. They rather be alone. That got me worried. I am such a social person. I love people. I would hate to isolate myself. I know there will be days when i don’t want to deal with the world and that is normal. But i don’t want to lose who i am. I guess i just have to be selective. Those of you that want to visit, have to understand that i will just have to walk away to take a nap! LOL
I am a little scared that depression might be kicking in. I already started getting hot flashes. WTF!! I am really not trying to get down on myself. I am trying to stay positive, but I got angry yesterday. I got angry that this is happening to me. I got angry because my 2 year old looked at the scare of my chest from the port, “my booboo” as he calls it and said “the doctor is going to fix you”… and i had to say yes baby, the doctor is going to fix me! And my 5 year old asked me yesterday why did i get sick and who made me sick! How do you answer that? All i could do is smile and tell him that things just happen sometimes but mommy is going to be okay.
2 thoughts on “Crashing”
Wow Myra, It’s 10:30 PM on Wednesday October 26. I have beeno reading your blog and I couldn’t put it down. In the last hour I have cried, laughter, prayed and even got mad because 2 people called me and had me stop from reading your blog. Even though I haven’t spoken to you in such a long time I miss you. Ever since you posted you have cancer I have prayed for you and your family. I know you are going to kick cancer’s ass. Your personality has inspired me. I am so happy that you are such a strong person. I am sorry I hadn’t written to you but I didnt know what to say, so what I did was talk to God and to give me the courage to write this to you. I wish I could do more for you but please don’t hesitate to ask anything I can do for you I will try my best to do. I love you and please keep fighting because I want to see you on our next reunion. Pleasent keep us posted with your blog.
My dearest friend Oscar, Thank you for your words. You also made me cry. Thank you for the prayers and for thinking of me. I am glad you reached out. I know its weird for a lot of people. They don’t know what to say, but I love that you asked God for guidance. I love seeing the pictures of your beautiful family. I am SO PROUD of you mi amiga. I also miss you and our talks when we used to walk home together. I hope you have a great time at the reunion. I hope I can Facetime with you guys just to say “Hi”.