A very special “Hello” to all my Ninjas out there! Richard reminded me this weekend that I haven’t written a blog in a while. Sorry for slacking, but last week was kind of rough. My numbers were low, so now my doctor is forcing me to get two shots for my immune system after every treatment. Those shots really take a toll on my body. I have been so tired and the little energy I have I try to save for the boys. But I need my numbers to be at a certain level or else they won’t let me do chemo. At this stage in the game, that’s not an option for me.
Plus, the neuropathy in my fingers has gotten worse ( If you don’t know what that is, it is weakness, numbness, and pain from nerve damage, usually in the hands and feet). It’s not very fun to type or to text these days. I tried to tickle Leo this weekend and I couldn’t even do that. Which made me sad. Plus, I feel like it has spread to my arms. I have this weird sensation in my forearms. Oh and I think I figured out what is going on with my finger nails. Its kind of nasty, but it seems that the skin under my nails is turning into blisters and that is what’s forcing the nail to detach. My nails smell and look horrible. It’s very painful and it’s no longer just my thumbs, now my pointer fingers and middle fingers have decided to join in on the fun. WTH!!!
Okay, so enough of the complaining…. . lets focus on the positive. I have two more chemo sessions to go. Thank you God! I have an appointment with my surgeon Dr. P tomorrow. I am hoping he has some good news for me. I am sure he will order some tests to see how the tumor is doing. I am praying that the cancer is gone, or has shrunk. I am praying that he tells me I will not need any radiation. I also have an apportionment with my plastic surgeon on Thursday. He’s the guy that is going to give me those new perky boobies that everything has been talking about. It seems that is the only positive thing out of all this. I guess I will have to invest in some new bras and shirts.
Richard went with me on Friday to get my shot. He was so funny. When we left the Breast Cancer Center he was saying “my wife is a celebrity”. I laughed and a said I really don’t think that’s what I was trying to do, but hey if it works then so be it. My oncologist, Dr. M , was very sweet. She was telling my mom last week how my shenanigans every week don’t just help the staff, but help the other patients. I really hope so. I hope they see this crazy lady and it makes them laugh. I pray that when they see me they see Hope… they see someone that is trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I hope they see a warrior and it gives them the courage to be strong and to fight! Lord knows I am tired, but I refuse to give up. Its just not in me give up. I am way to feisty!
Tonight I went to yoga. It was great. I really feel the difference in my body. I have met some awesome people. One of my nurses goes and she was educating me on nutrition and what life after chemo is going to look like. It really is a lifestyle change. Nutrition is the key!
I want to end by saying thank you to everyone that has supported me through this journey. Honestly I cry everyday because I am still amazed at all the love and support I have received in the last 6 months. All the prayers, the messages, the gifts I have recieved in the mail. I truly feel blessed to have so many people in my corner. You have all helped the time go by faster. You have made me laugh, cry and have put a smile on my face. I hate that I have to paint on my eyebrows every morning but at least I can laugh about it.