So its been an interesting few days. Wednesday i was nauseous from the Chemo, but I felt great Thursday. I even went to work.  Friday was an okay day. But Saturday and Sunday were horrible. I haven’t had any of the nausea, but the headaches, muscle aches and fatigue were in full force. I was lucky that my parents took the boys for the weekend so that i could rest. Richard stayed with me and was great. Making sure i ate and rested. Food has already started to taste weird, which breaks my heart. I LOVE FOOD!!!  White rice has never tasted so good! I miss coffee! I was told i can’t drink it because it will dehydrate me. Crap! Detox is going to hurt! Lucky for me i do enjoy a nice cup of tea.

Some of our best friends stopped by on Sunday. It was great to see them. It had been a while and it was nice to have a little normalcy in my day. I wish i would have had more energy to entertain. They were very understanding. As soon as  they left i fell asleep.

I have joined a survivors group on Facebook and the ladies have been extremely supportive. I asked the ladies if they enjoyed company when they didn’t feel well. The majority of them said no. They rather  be alone. That got me worried. I am such a social person. I love people. I would hate to isolate myself. I know there will be days when i don’t want to deal with the world and that is normal. But i don’t want to lose who i am. I guess i just have to be selective. Those of you that want to visit, have to understand that i will just have to walk away to take a nap! LOL

I am a little scared that depression might be kicking in. I already started getting hot flashes. WTF!! I am really not trying to get down on myself. I am trying to stay positive, but I got angry yesterday. I got angry that this is happening to me. I got angry because my 2 year old looked at the scare of my chest from the port, “my booboo” as he calls it and said “the doctor is going to fix you”… and i had to say yes baby, the doctor is going to fix me! And my 5 year old asked me yesterday why did i get sick and who made me sick!  How do you answer that? All i could do is smile and tell him that things just happen sometimes but mommy is going to be okay.

First blog post

I just had my first chemo session yesterday September 7, 2016. Before all of this i had made a few choices. I cut my hair so that i would not be traumatized seeing myself bald in the mirror. I also wanted to make it easy for my boys. I also decided on getting the port. I have always had bad luck with my viens and if device helped with the treatments then i was all about it. It did mean that I would have to have surgery for the first time in my life, as well as have anesthesia.  I was sore, but it wasn’t bad. I also decided to go into this treatment with an open mind. I prayed that my body could tolerate the treatment and that the side effects would be minimal.

Last night i felt a lot of nausea. I drank a lot of water and had a few bites of food. Today i woke up feeling  better and even went to work. I only worked a half a day becuase i had the Neulasta shot, which i call my LoJack. I really felt that anyone could find my location wearing this device on my arm that beeped and made all kinds of noise as it injected my body with fluids, to help build up my immune system.

It’s crazy how much i have been poked and probed in the last month. From the Biopsy on both breasts, to the PET scan, the MUGA scan, to all the blood work needed before Chemo. The veins on my arms and hands are destroyed. And i am sure this is just the beginning.

The great thing is that Richard and i have made the best of it. We have laughed and talked so much crap. It’s what keeps us going. We have joked about me being an overachiever, because i was the first in my genaration to graduate college and i’m the first to get Cancer. I have to stop that!! LOL We have laughed about me being a fiesty old lady with these great perky boobies. The old men will be groping me in the retirement home. My chemo nurse had a blast with us. She even called my hubby “special”… I laughed and told her that is why i married him.

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