So its been an interesting few days. Wednesday i was nauseous from the Chemo, but I felt great Thursday. I even went to work. Friday was an okay day. But Saturday and Sunday were horrible. I haven’t had any of the nausea, but the headaches, muscle aches and fatigue were in full force. I was lucky that my parents took the boys for the weekend so that i could rest. Richard stayed with me and was great. Making sure i ate and rested. Food has already started to taste weird, which breaks my heart. I LOVE FOOD!!! White rice has never tasted so good! I miss coffee! I was told i can’t drink it because it will dehydrate me. Crap! Detox is going to hurt! Lucky for me i do enjoy a nice cup of tea.
Some of our best friends stopped by on Sunday. It was great to see them. It had been a while and it was nice to have a little normalcy in my day. I wish i would have had more energy to entertain. They were very understanding. As soon as they left i fell asleep.
I have joined a survivors group on Facebook and the ladies have been extremely supportive. I asked the ladies if they enjoyed company when they didn’t feel well. The majority of them said no. They rather be alone. That got me worried. I am such a social person. I love people. I would hate to isolate myself. I know there will be days when i don’t want to deal with the world and that is normal. But i don’t want to lose who i am. I guess i just have to be selective. Those of you that want to visit, have to understand that i will just have to walk away to take a nap! LOL
I am a little scared that depression might be kicking in. I already started getting hot flashes. WTF!! I am really not trying to get down on myself. I am trying to stay positive, but I got angry yesterday. I got angry that this is happening to me. I got angry because my 2 year old looked at the scare of my chest from the port, “my booboo” as he calls it and said “the doctor is going to fix you”… and i had to say yes baby, the doctor is going to fix me! And my 5 year old asked me yesterday why did i get sick and who made me sick! How do you answer that? All i could do is smile and tell him that things just happen sometimes but mommy is going to be okay.